This was a follow-up to my prior post regarding Blog Hater Comments. In that post, a user made her arguments in defense of the blogger I was making comments about. I had a lot to say in my reply to her.
Steve is always going to have haters no matter what. He has said that he doesn’t read the comments and he doesn’t care what the haters say because they keep coming back anyway. People can be incredibly rude and ignorant but I think if they want to waste their time trashing somebody, then they can do it. I don’t know if deleting all the hateful comments is a good idea because they will just get even angrier and keep posting mean stuff. I’m not disagreeing with you, but I think that since Steve doesn’t read them anyways, it doesn’t really matter to him. There are so many people that like him and the haters are just wasting their time being jerks. Steve doesn’t have time to respond to rude comments (if he even reads them), and I feel like that would just make the hate even stronger. I can understand why you are upset and I agree that many comments are horrible; however, Steve has stated multiple times that he does not read the comments and he sometimes does respond to haters on his reader e-mails, for example. I think that if it really bothered Steve, he would have started doing something a long time ago, as he has always had haters. Sorry that this is so long but I just wanted to say that while the things people say are awful, I think the best thing for Steve to do is to continue what he has been doing and just not read the negativity or waste time responding, which would just fuel the fire even more.
Thanks for your thoughtful reply. First, let me say I do understand where you are coming from. Second, I also understand where Steve is coming from because he has pretty much said what you said. But I would have to say that I respectfully disagree with both of you. Let me explain why.
I have a strong I.T. (information technology) background which I use to my advantage both in business and personal life. I use it to help others when I can. I make it my business to study the use of technology to achieve the results of what I want. I also have a fair understanding of Internet security. That means knowing what software to use and how to use it is a big part of whether you are successful or not. You can have two people use Microsoft Word in completely different ways. Some people use it very simplistically to type a letter. Others, such as those who work in law offices, have the ability to create amazingly sophisticated and impactful legal documents with it. It comes down to the user.
Did you know that the ELI website and RealitySteve.com run on the same underlying software? It is called WordPress. The WordPress platform is used by literally hundreds of thousands of websites around the world. It is the basis of some of the most sophisticated and largest websites in the world because of its ease, flexibility, and cost (free). How I know what RealitySteve.com runs on is because I set up a user account and in the process of registration, I saw he was running on WordPress. Even without that, there are external clues that he was using WordPress.
Without disrespect intended towards Steve, he doesn’t seem overly technical. If he is, it appears to be a well-kept secret. And he certainly doesn’t show his technical side. “Haters” and “spammers” have been around since the Internet became available to the public in the mid-1990?s. There are many ways of fighting off haters and spammers. And unless a hater happens to be a programmer (which I cannot imagine many Reality Steve haters are), they can never truly overcome a well-planned system of screening out spammers and haters.
Did you know that the ELI website gets attacked by spammers 150-200 times per day? And yet, no one knows about it and their efforts are 99.9% wasted. Once in a great while, a lucky hit will get through but it is easy to delete and suspend that account going forward.
Most of Reality Steve haters are people. They are not using automated robots to post their hate. I can promise you, I can “kill” hater accounts far quicker than they can ever set up new accounts. I don’t even have to do it myself. I just have to configure WordPress and add an appropriate plug-in to make it happen. You don’t have to be a programmer to clean out the haters. There is already all kinds of free plug-ins that will do the job but it is something Steve would have to commit to do.
I don’t want to get into a psychological debate of whether “haters” bother Steve or not. I happen to believe that negativity and hate do affect people in subtle ways. I think it makes people more cynical and more irritable and overly skews their views because it overwhelmingly drowns out the good moderate people who mind their own business and avoid conflict. You don’t see me jumping into there because it would be pointless. In any case, I believe in taking care of and reward those who “love” me, not haters. Haters will continue to hate but why would anyone let them do it to your own website that you pay for?
The idea that someone won’t fight back spammers or haters because they will come back is like saying:
1. You are going to get dirty anyway, why take a shower every day?
2. You are going to get bugs in your house anyway, why waste money on pest control or bug spray?
3. Your house is going to get dirty anyway, why dust or vacuum your house?
4. Your car is going to get dirty anyway, why wash your car or clean out your car?
5. A bully is going to insult and attack you anyway, so why bother fighting back since you keep getting abused and picked on?
I could easily give you another 50 examples but I think you get my point. Spammers and haters may continue to hit your website but that doesn’t mean you let them shit all over your website. Would anyone let a stranger come shit on their car, their bedroom, or their house? If not, why would someone let spammers and haters shit on their website that they work on and paid for and is so valuable that it generates money for them?
To me, it is either ignorance (someone didn’t teach or show them), laziness, or plain indifference. For me, I care about “my people”. For example, you disagree with me. That’s ok. You were respectful and I am replying to you. You took the time to reply and I will make the effort to do the same. Now, I understand there comes a point where it is too much to reply to everyone individually but there are ways of acknowledging entire groups of people.
I come from a place where all my websites are an online reflection of me. They are certainly not perfect but I can promise I send out a strong message to spammers and haters. If they want to shit on or talk trash about me, my name, or my work, I can’t stop them from doing so ELSEWHERE on the Internet. But I sure as hell can and will stop it if it is on MY home website.
We choose to have pest control in our own homes. Well, we also have the option to have pest control on our websites. Simply saying that the bugs will be back bigger, badder, and meaner doesn’t mean you say, “I give up. Come in and shit all over my house.”
Having said all that, RealitySteve.com is not my website. The Reality Steve Lawsuit isn’t even my fight. I have done what I can to help Steve with no conditions. He can accept it or he can turn away. Either way, I have no regrets. I stand by my article about how negativity and cancerous haters can be. The haters damage his reputation and cause harm in very subtle and ugly ways that hurt him. He may not see it but I do see the harm.
If Steve doesn’t mind people shitting all over his website simply because it doesn’t bother him or whatever, then I question whether he understands the bigger picture. For me, the “bigger picture” is that as a blogger and website owner you have a duty to take care of “your people” even if it is more work for him.
He got nearly $8,000 in contributions to his legal fund. If that doesn’t prove that he has goodwill and good people on his side, nothing will. That should prove to him that having a solid community without the haters would be even better and stronger so that supporters like yourself can post on his site without some ass insult your for enjoying or supporting his website.
You posted respectfully here but I consider you “my people”. If anyone went after you or anyone else that respectfully posts and comments on my websites, you can believe I will blow them out of the water with no explanation. They can keep coming back and I will keeping stomping on them like the nasty pests they are.