July 2009

A recent incident made me think of how people live their lives.  There are those who try to live an open life and reach out to others.  And there are many who say they do the same but when you find out more about them, listen to their words, and watch their actions, they really live in darkness and fear.

For people who really know me, I am actually a somewhat shy, quiet, introvert. And yet, my public persona and outward personality is very much opposite of who I am inside.  I have learned to improve my personal skills. I travel, speak, socialize, publish, write books, and have several websites that I manage. Essentially, anyone that wants to find me or learn more about me can easily do so simply by Googling my name.

Interestingly, I generally get two general reactions.  There are those who find it interesting and fascinating that I have this semi-public, online life. They are attracted to it and follow it. And then there are others who are repelled by and find it offensive.  These people generally do a hit-and-run.  They say something nasty and I don’t hear from them again.

What I have learned is that “like people attract other like people” or “people are attracted to other people they aspire to be”.

I have chosen to live this semi-public life for many reasons.

#1, I am held accountable to a higher standard in both my personal and professional life if I know people are watching. After all, many of us can get sloppy, lazy, and fat in the privacy of our homes.

#2, I found that living in quiet, obscurity being an unknown actually hinders the goals I want to achieve in life. The fact is the more people you know (or those who know you) can make your life much easier.  If you do things right and stick to your convictions, people know who you are and what you stand for. They learn to believe you, respect you, and trust you.

#3, I attract those people and business opportunities that I would not have otherwise if I had not put myself out there.  It is amazing how many personal friends, business associates, and customers that have come into my life as a result of putting myself out in the light.

#4, I can better affect positive change within my life, other people’s lives, and the communities I participate in as a result of the influence a sustained personal online presence has.

To be sure, I like my privacy just like anyone else but I believe there is a such thing as living in the underground.  Most of us have some kind of skeletons in our past lives. We must all come to terms with them in our own way. Many times, those skeletons we assume that are so bad turns out to be quite common. Sometimes, we are our own worst critic and judges when it comes to those skeletons.

As I said earlier, I can quickly determine the true nature of a person by what they say, what they do, and how they respond to things. When I encounter someone who chooses to live in the dark and underground, I respect their decision but I know I will have to go another direction that is more empowering and inspiring.

And when you meet confident, powerful people who put themselves out in the light, taking risks, living life fully, who have made peace with themselves, that is extremely invigorating and inspiring.

I make it a policy to stand my ground and not let toxic and dark people impact my life. Normally, I will do my best to avoid the person or situation but if they get into my face or otherwise try to negatively impact my life, then I will not hesitate to stand my ground and assert yourself.

Unfortunately, I have learned in life that sometimes “being nice” is taken as a sign of weakness.  Some people will only respond and respect you when you take a more assertive and even aggressive stand.  To me, it is strange but true.

In any case, in the months to come, I will be ramping things up even more in a big way. I am excited by what I have planned and will soon be implementing. I am intentionally being vague because I want more time to formulate my thoughts.

People who want to live in darkness and obscurity will run like roaches into the night when the upcoming light shines even brighter.  And those people who have been interested and excited by what I have done thus far, will have even greater reason to come back and find out more.