In my two recent trips in Colorado Springs, I can say it has not been dull. I have come into contact and interacted with a variety of people. Most of the interactions have been by choice, not a requirement.
Unlike my interactions in Columbus, GA where I am known within some circles, I start with a clean slate in Colorado Springs. I am a complete unknown and basically just an out-of-town guy trying to establish some kind of new home and community for himself.
Like anyone else, I would like to be liked and respected. But if that does not happen, then so be it. My world does not necessarily go into a tizzy if I am not absolutely liked or respected. I have matured to the point that my self-worth is not necessarily measured by my ability to win a popularity contest.
What has been interesting to observe is the to-and-fro of the relationships encountered thus far. I have been drawn to some people and some people have been drawn to me. I have repelled some people and some people have repelled me. However it happens, I tend to think it happens for the best. Everyone sorts themselves out on who they want to associate with and spend time with by how they prioritize their time.
I am not into forcing people together. I have the good fortune of mostly not having to deal or interact with people I do not want to or prefer to.
I think many people take it personally when relationships and friendships do not work out. I think that if it doesn’t work out, it is ok. For a relationship or friendship to work, both parties have to want it and show it.
Today, I had lunch with a student who was older than me by 10 years. He invited me to lunch earlier this week. I was flattered and happy for the opportunity to interact with a local. We talked about real estate investing and he asked for my views and insights. I happily gave them. In that interaction, I got a much better sense of him as a person and he did of me.
Although we were different in many ways, I saw that we had many similar values despite our exterior appearances. Despite him being 10 years my senior, he was very respectful which only made me respect him more. He wanted to know more my views but in the process I also learned more about him.
The lunch lasted two hours. It was a long lunch. The lesson I took out of it what made it work is that I was willing to let my guard down and open up and reveal some personal information. So was he. In the opening, some degree of trust was created.
This also happened with the couple I am renting my cabin from. Although there are certainly differences, we also share some core values. I have grown to like my “landlords” a great deal. They are great people. It is funny that they are creating this relationship with me as a “tenant”. But it required a mutual sense of trust to open up and share some personal information.
In this creation of trust, we may end up investing together. It is too early too tell if it will actually happen but at least the sentiment is there. I am not overly concerned with the outcome. I am simply happy we can kick back, connect, and create a mutually beneficial friendship.
A couple of other relationships have not progressed quite as well. I am a little disappointed. Despite my efforts to open up first, I certainly do not feel the reverse. I do not think they are bad people but clearly their guard was up or what they were willing to share was filtered. Everything feels a bit “polite”.
What I want to leave you with is, why do you like some people more than others? Why are you attracted to them? More importantly, what kinds of people are attracted to you? Why are they attracted to you? I think you will find a pattern in there that will be eye-opening.
I look at my team in Columbus and the people who I have great, professional relationships with. I can articulate exactly why I like each member of my team and I have a good idea why they like me on their team. At some level, I have a friendship with each of these individuals. It starts as a professional relationship but we are drawn together because we like and trust each other. We share goals, values, and interests together.
And so I say, Like Attracts Like, Unlike Repels Unlike.